I Need My Muse
by MonicaKateBingCastle
Summary: The thoughts that run through Castle's mind when he hears of several homicide detectives being shot.


This fic takes place in the present Castle and Beckett have been together for a year and everything is as it is on the show.

I don't own any of the Castle Characters, its sad but true

I Need My Muse

Richard Castle sat on the sofa with his lap top on his lap working on the next Nikki Heat novel while watching Star Trek. He'd seen every episode like a thousand times but it was still his favorite. When the news broke in with a breaking story Castle looked up from his lap top. "_Several NYPD homicide detectives were shot at while investigating a murder on West 57__th__ street the detectives were taken to Beth Israel by ambulance there is no information on their condition at this time"_

The first thought to enter his mind was Kate and the boys. He quickly saved his work before picking up his cell phone dialing Kate's number "Come on pick up, please pick up" he mumbled running his hand nervously through his hair. When she didn't answer he tried Esposito and Ryan's cells too neither of them picked up either. He had to get to the hospital because all kinds of images ran through his mind most of them bad.

Castle grabbed his coat and keys and rushed out of the loft and down to the street he didn't think he should be driving so he hailed a cab. Once at the hospital he paid the driver and ran inside. He stopped the first nurse he saw "I'm looking for the detectives that were shot" he told her

'Do you have names" she asked

"Yes Kate Beckett, Javier Esposito, and Kevin Ryan" he rambled out the names.

"Alright there's a group of officers here you can sit with them if you'd like and I will let you know if I find out anything" she gave him a small smile.

He didn't feel like sitting with them so he sat on his own. He checked his phone there were no new calls. This possibility of Kate being shot made his mind wonder back over the many times he came close to losing her.

They were all at Captain Montgomery's funeral. Kate was at the podium saying a few words about Montgomery when a shining sliver of light caught Castle's eye he knew exactly what he was looking at, with in seconds he'd jumped up at ran toward Kate he pushed her out of the way but not soon enough the bullet hit her. As they both laid there he begged her not to leave him and confessed his love for her. Then there was the time they were trying to track down a bomb that would blow up the whole city. They ended up locked in a freezer together; it was so cold he sat with her cuddled in his arms hoping to keep them warm just when they thought the end was near Ryan and Esposito found them.

Another time was when they'd both witnessed the murder of a doctor they were trapped in Beckett's car in the Hudson River, Castle found Beckett's piece shooting out the window of the car saving them both from drowning. When a serial killer became obsessed with the character Nikki Heat which was based on Beckett targeting her as his next victim, Castle calls to warn her, he arrives to find her apartment had blown up he braved the heat and flames to find her, he found her standing naked in her tub he grinned sheepishly before handing her his coat and leading her out of the apartment.

"Castle"

"He was pulled from his memories when he heard his name being called. Esposito with a smack bandage on his forehead and Ryan his arm in a sling were standing there

"Are you guys okay" he asked

"Yeah just some scraps and bruises" Esposito answered

"Where is she" Castle asked "Please tell me she's okay" his blue eyes shiny with tears.

"I'm fine" a soft voice answered before the boys could respond.

He looked up to see her standing there looking wore out but not hurt "Kate" he jumped "Are you okay" he asked worry evident on his face

"I was hit in the chest but I was wearing my vest so I'm fine" she assured him. "Take me home" she whispered leaning into him.

Castle didn't hesitate he sad goodnight to the boys and led her out of the hospital.

Once they were back at Castle's loft he led her to his bedroom "I kept thinking about all the close calls, all the times I came so close to losing you" he told her "You really have to stop scaring me like that" he whispered pulling her into his arms "I can't live if you're not here" he lowered his lips to hers kissing her softly "I love you Kate" he set his forehead against hers

"I love you too Castle" she whispered.

He pulled her closer to him needing to feel her heart beat against his chest and her breath against his cheek "Move in with me" he murmured the events of this evening making him realize just how much he loved her and never wanted to be with out her.

"Okay" she whispered back with out hesitation

"Really?" he questioned with a smile

"Yes really" she smiled.

He grinned excitedly sweeping her off her feet carrying her over to his bed that was now theirs. He laid her down and gently crawled on top of her "I love you" he whispered again looking down into her beautiful hazel eyes.

She looked up into his bright blue eyes and whispered back "I love you Castle…Always"

Author's Note: Here is my second attempt at a Castle fic. I don't have the confidence to do a multiple chapter story yet. My last story got a few hurtful reviews because of spelling errors sometimes they just happen typing isn't easy. Anyway I got this idea from a new episode of Nurse Jackie and when she hears an NYPD officer is shot and she fears its her boyfriend Frank.


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